A testament for Errant.

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You have made a Covenant with Mister Nook the Bold, Tanooki King, Thief of the Stars, with a Tongue that Spoke Silver into Being. Mister Nook is represented by an inverted leaf; a silver leaf on a field of green is preferred. It is said that zealots in covenant with Mister Nook hear coins tinkling from far away, and spontaneously laugh when a merchant near by plays an out-of-towner for a fool. Often, they are not welcome long in a settlement.

Blessings

The blessings of Mister Nook grant you special abilities, which you can perform at will.

They with the silver tongue. You may exchange 1 favour as many times as you wish to increase the sale price of an item you are offering by 20%. The buyer must accept it; they may have to go into debt to you to do this.

Just what you wanted. You may exchange 1 favour to reduce the rarity of an item by one from what it would usually be in the settlement you are in, as many times as you wish. You may be exposed to legally grey markets in doing so.

Doctrines

Your covenant with Mister Nook grants you the power to perform miracles, supernatural acts related to the eminences of your covenant.

The First Doctrine. Miracles in the manner of a purse of shillings appearing when it is needed, clouding the mind of another for a moment to gain an edge, making a promise that seems honest even if it obviously is not.

The Second Doctrine. Miracles in the manner of a purse of guilders appearing where it is needed, and the rejuvenation or improvement of a product, the evocation of trust, and invoking minor aspects of Mister Nook.

The Third Doctrine. Miracles in the manner of the creation of a shopfront of your choosing, insight into another’s deepest needs and desires, and the bestowal of a major aspect of Mister Nook.

The Fourth Doctrine. Miracles in the manner of permanent creation of great riches, the granting of land and title, compulsion of another against their will, turning things to gold with a touch.

The Fifth Doctrine. Miracle in the manner of the creation of cities and islands, apocalyptic hail of gold and rivers running with noble wine and saffron.

Gaining Favour

For 1 favour, convince someone to make a minor offering to Mister Nook; make a minor sale to a stranger; trick someone.

For 5 favour, put someone into debt in exchange for their life, open a shop or sale-wagon, or perform a great deception to selfish benefit

For 15 favour, change the economies of kingdoms, or trick a god.

For eternal favour, bring Mister Nook into this world to and provide him with. The opportunity to perform the greatest trick ever pulled.

Mister Nook’s Woes

1. Pennies grow on the target’s skin like warts, inflicting 1d4 damage.
2. Target vomits pennies whenever they open their mouth.
3. At the point of effect, the target’s flesh begins to turn to copper. The target’s limbs are slow and hard to move for 2d8 hours. When the entire target is copper, the effect resolves and they are purified of all ailments, and may make an appeal to Mister Nook.
4. A small tanooki head appears beside your regular head. This head knows exactly how much money anyone they see has access to, and can whisper it to you.
5. For the next day, every bargain, sale or purchase costs twice as much.
6. Target becomes unable to tell lies but can also sense when others are lying.
7. Shillings push their way out of the target’s skin like splinters, inflicting 1d6 damage.
8. Every month, the target’s eyes are afflicted with a blindness to items worth any amount of gold until they sleep with gold coins upon their eyes.
9. Target ages d6 years.
10. On a random limb, target’s skin turns to silver, but continues to function normally.
11. Target can hear nothing but the sound of coins for the next hour, however can accurately predict the number of coins they hear.
12. Target is transformed into talking tanooki until such time as they sell d20 items.
13. Half of the flesh on the targets body turns to gold. Target must make a physique saving throw or have their physique halved permanently.
14. Target’s bones turn to gold.
15. Target grows a tanooki tail. Whenever anyone grabs it, the target must dance wholeheartedly for 1 minute.
16. Target can hear the thoughts of anyone standing on their left-hand side through their left ear.
17. All within 30 feet of the target must make a presence saving throw or be assaulted with the weight of all the world’s greed, permanently losing 1d4 presence.
18. Target begins to grow soft hair in patches over their body, and large ears and a tail. Each day after the beneficence, target must make a physique saving throw. If the target successfully makes three saving throws in a row, the effect ends. If they fail three times in a row, they are turned into a human-sized tanooki.
19. The next time the target gives a gift freely, they must make a presence saving throw. If they fail, they become a magnet for all coin nearby, instantly being crushed under the weight of the world’s wealth.
20. Target feels something writing under their flesh. They must make a presence saving throw. If they fail, their body is instantly turned to gold, killing them instantly.

“Being a wolf in sheep’s clothing is preferable to simply being a wolf. Having a fleece of gold is more preferable still…”

From the Testament of Mr Nook

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I was complaining about how challenging writing testaments was for me (Ava says there are lots of currently inaccessible testaments but for now we need to create our own). Chris encouraged me with his work on his own Errant campaign, and Marcia B and Sandro were talking about running an Animal Crossing campaign, and these two things merged in my head strangely to inspire this.

Thoughts on writing testaments: If you’re writing a woe table variation having at least three discrete and unrelated eminences to your god will make creating variation much easier. Next time I’ll write eternal favour and fifth doctrines immediately after eminences as they affect an agenda, which helps drive decision making elsewhere.

This was a lot of fun. I may make more, if I have time.

15th January 2023

Idle Cartulary